Decisions

Finding Strength in Support: Preventing Burnout in Challenging Times

September 24, 2024
Finding Strength in Support: Preventing Burnout in Challenging Times

It’s the end of a quarter and the end of a season. I am feeling both a wind-up toward the end of the year (and yes the election in the US) and a wind-down into what can and cannot fit into this calendar year’s time.

Lately, I have been working with a few clients, making big things happen in their worlds and organizations or businesses. People are activating new visions and directions, trying out new ways of working in their teams, updating their entire structure, or growing teams and budgets to double the year before.

We are experiencing major transitions and are preparing—this time with a little more awareness—for the possibility of even greater transitions.

I feel it.
Do you feel it?

If you feel the rapidness of transitions and changes on the horizon, the rest of this post is for you (even if you aren’t in a big transformation or high-stress moment).

With all the changes happening, many of the folks I work with are pushing harder than before. They are working to move big ideas into action—fast. They need to show up for many disparate team members to support their emotions through the transitions. 

When we push fast, go at a nonstop pace, and feel like a lot of human well-being is at stake, it can lead to overwhelm, nonstop stress, and, if we don’t slow down… burnout.

I am worried that burnout is right around the corner for many of us.

So I wanted to offer an anecdote to burnout that may be different than you are thinking about…

YES to avoid burnout… 
↘ find short breaks and pauses,
↘ connect with other passions and identities outside where you spend most of your time,  
↘ take longer breaks, and reduce what you are “doing.” 

(Okay – sorry – if even reading that is stressful… and you are like, “HOW ANNIE!” Keep reading because the following is a first STEP before you even take a short break.)

What is the number one way to avoid burnout?

Get help.

Getting support is one of the best ways to avoid burnout and reduce the stress of rapid changes and future instabilities.


The belief that leads to burnout

What leads to burnout and overwhelm is the belief (and the action that follows that belief) that we have to be the ones to do it all and get it all done. And even be the ones to carry out the ideal version of our vision for the future.

You may also be inside a culture (country, institution, family) that feeds the belief that it is all on you. 

You alone must complete the project, see the vision through, and do it well with little support. If you ask for help, “you are fill in the blank (weak, incompetent, inadequate, powerless).”

When you go it alone this leads to exhaustion and, inevitably, burnout.

(See a definition of burnout in the resources.)


Types of support

At least three kinds of help can pull you back from the edge and bring you back to yourself and life’s natural ebb and flow.

Types of support that reduce stress during challenge and change:

  1. Listening and accompaniment
  2. Offering resources, advice, expertise
  3. Taking on some of the workload

Ideally, you stack ALL of these types of support in times of stress.


Asking for support

At times of overwhelm, it can be hard to ask for support. 

However, the first step is noticing you need support and telling someone you need help. This could be a few trusted colleagues or loved ones. 

An act of support could be – someone who first helps you think about what help you need!

Here are a few prompts for asking for support – straight from my life!

  • “Sashya, I am juggling a lot right now and feeling stretched. Could you help me one day next week with school pick-up so I can be alone for 30 minutes?”
  • “Rachel, I can’t finish the notes on my upcoming projects. Do you have room in your scope of work to help me with the notes for my upcoming projects in November and December?”
  • “I am hosting a party for our mutual colleague. I am wondering, since you are coming would you have time to pick up banh mi on the way?


Examples

Here are a few examples of support I have asked for and received over the last few years…

  • Childcare pick up
  • Consulting project facilitation
  • Client project thought partnership
  • Project management and mapping out new internal processes
  • Coaching around business development 

Personally, asking for support is vulnerable. I see myself as a caregiver and supporter of others. I see myself as a fixer and problem solver. I do not want to be a burden, and as an only child and a white woman – I am constantly worried I will be seen as self-absorbed! Oh and I love the control that comes with being the one to take care of the project, task and make the decision. 

Perhaps you can relate to a few of those? 

Why is it hard for you to ask for support?

What are ways you have asked for support in the past that have reduced your stress or helped you carry out your vision?


Caveat

I know there are times when our on-the-ground reality is nearly impossible; even with support, it is exhausting and nonstop. There are times when we are living on the edge and in a time of trauma and survival. This is still a time to seek out whatever support you can and, simultaneously, be compassionate toward yourself, offer grace, and acknowledge that your reality is hard right now. Getting support is not guaranteed to end the suffering, yet we were meant to be in community even when life is painful. If this is where you are right now, may you find people who will accompany and walk alongside you.


Resources

Definition of Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski:
“Burnout” can be defined by three components: 1. emotional exhaustion, 2. depersonalization, and 3. a decreased sense of accomplishment.

Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski on Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle

“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.” – Karen Salmansohn

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.” – Banksy

Rheanna SmithFinding Strength in Support: Preventing Burnout in Challenging Times
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What is the simplest and sometimes the most challenging way to show up as a thoughtful, clear, prepared leader?

September 5, 2023
What is the simplest and sometimes the most challenging way to show up as a thoughtful, clear, prepared leader?

Know how you (yourself and your organization) make decisions.

And then show everyone you work with and on behalf of who makes which decisions and how you make those decisions.

This is simple. Perhaps it’s so fundamental that it does not need to be mentioned. However, I find this is one of the easiest ways leaders can increase and gain trust, and it is the quickest thing to slide when you get busy or overwhelmed.

There are hundreds of ways to decide. In groups, with one person. With input and many feedback loops, quickly with no contributions. With a vote, a scale, a discussion, or a consensus.

The key is knowing the critical decisions you must make in any role or during a project. Then, get clear on which way you will make the decision and who will do it. Then, communicate that process multiple times to those who are involved.

Think of a project right now… ask yourself, do we know how we are making the final decision? Or the decisions leading up to the final decision? If so, have you clearly communicated that to everyone impacted?

And if you are not the one with deciding power, have you built a relationship with the deciders and asked them questions about the decision-making process?

Bonus points if you can do this from a genuine place of curiosity and partnership, not as a “gotcha moment.”

(Guess what this works in your personal life too!)

Check out below the first decision questions I ask when supporting a project and my top tips for building trust and clarity in your decision-making.

Ask these questions first:

  • Are the people most impacted by the decision a part of making the decision or, at the very least, consulted?
  • Does everyone know the decision-making process, who is involved, how the decision will be made, and who is the final decider?
  • Does the decision-making process match the importance of the decision?

Examples – If you are making a decision that impacts your clients for the next 5 years, are you taking the time to make that decision thoughtfully with feedback and input? If you need to decide on a bathroom tile color, are you using the least time and resources possible?

Shout out to these consultants, whom I’ve learned from and who do an excellent job setting people up with transparent decision-making and thinking about power dynamics – Andrea Paull, Paola Maranan, and Makeba Greene.

My Top Decision-Making Tips

Choose only a handful of ways you will make decisions as individuals and teams and use them repeatedly.
Vet them for a balance of ease of use and inclusion in the process and then replicate that way of deciding across the business or organization.

Take in and listen to different perspectives.
You will be a better leader and make stronger decisions if you listen to diverse perspectives.

Clearly define the problem and possible solutions.
Know what you are deciding and why.  Ideally, state the problem in the form of a question and look for multiple solutions.

Slow down before you make a significant decision.
Encourage your team to have time to breathe, pause, and think before making a major decision. Even if it is an emergency, you can usually afford 5 minutes and a phone call to someone else before you make the final call.

Name the power you and others hold. Get used to naming when you are deciding.
Your co-workers, employees, and clients should know you are making the decision even without input. It builds trust and clarity when you give honest answers about how a decision is made.

(Do I think you should give up some of your decision-making power? Yes, I do. There are many thoughtful ways to share power and gain creativity in decision-making.)

Be clear about when and how you will use input in your decision-making.
Name when and how feedback will be used in your decision. Come back to anyone you asked for input and name how you used it in your decision, including why you did not follow advice. Clarify when you are not asking for input and why.

Coach and support your team to know different ways to make decisions and use a few tools everyone is trained on for making decisions.
Give your team the tools you are using. Have managers share their strategies for decision-making and take through their decision-making processes and reasoning. The more you prepare everyone to make thoughtful, aware, value-aligned decisions, the stronger your organization is.

Do you want to know the other vital processes essential to making teamwork work?
Check out this post!

P.S. Guess what?

Inside Clear Harbor in the fall, we will lead a 5-part series on how to set up a solid set of decision-making processes and deal with sticky, complex decision-making. Be on the lookout for when our doors to the community open in the fall!

Rheanna SmithWhat is the simplest and sometimes the most challenging way to show up as a thoughtful, clear, prepared leader?
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How to bring in joy & intention when  building partnerships [Leaders Creating Change Series]

February 27, 2023
How to bring in joy & intention when  building partnerships [Leaders Creating Change Series]

Thoughtfully built relationships are vital to creating long-term partnerships that support your work, mission, and also support you in your leadership. I am always looking to learn better and different ways to be in relationships and in partnerships with fellow humans – so that together we can create social change and experience joy and delight along the way.

I want to share more opportunities for you to gather and hear from thoughtful leaders building toward equity and social change in their communities.

I recently had the joy of talking with Amanda Thomas, Director, Community Partnership for Tacoma Public Schools. We spoke about how she shows up in spaces, builds community, and creates long-term partnerships. Amanda is one of my favorite leaders to work with and it was a delight to hear her talk about her leadership and work.

Hear what Amanda says about building relationships even in institutional capacities:

You can probably tell from our conversation that Amanda brings joy into her work and the communities she’s a part of, so I wanted to know how joy fits into building relationships for her. She said…

Amanda offered the reminder that it IS enough to simply be in relationship with each other. Building relationships thoughtfully over time supports your growth as a leader and your ability to create something bigger and more meaningful. Investing time in the relationship without considering what you have to gain creates trust and space for learning and creativity. This allows you to make more significant and impactful changes.

We can’t do any of our change work alone.

If we’re going to build larger solutions, we have to be in conversations with each other and hear diverse perspectives. We must be able to see and talk about the problems with people who view them differently.

It’s more than just partnerships, though. As leaders, we have to identify and find the support we need intentionally. I asked Amanda how she has built a support community around herself. She finds support in others but also in herself.


I’m grateful to have found support in my relationship with Amanda. My hope for you is that you have built or are building partnerships and communities of support for yourself, too. 

In what ways are you putting energy into relationships simply for the joy and act of being in community?

A massive thank you to Amanda for joining me and for always showing up in spaces and giving very freely to community. 

Interested in the full interview with Amanda? To learn more about building relationships and partnerships, grab it here.

Rheanna SmithHow to bring in joy & intention when  building partnerships [Leaders Creating Change Series]
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Why I love meetings and how you can too

May 4, 2021
Why I love meetings and how you can too

Meetings… there were already so many dreaded meetings. And now most of us are still doing meetings online with glitchy internet looking at little screens scrambling for a background that hides the messy dishes. (Just noticing do all my notes include dirty dishes… yes there are a lot of dirty dishes in my life!)

Guess what – I am one of those weird people who likes meetings!
I know, I know… it’s true. I built a whole business around being in meetings (small and even very large). And often it is with people I don’t know well. People who are trying to make a plan for the future of their work together.

And I love it!

Can I tell you why I love it?
(The secret can also help you enjoy a few more meetings.)

I love meetings because I get to learn more about other people and connect to their stories while moving forward critical, purpose-driven work.

These are my favorite things – being with people and moving a plan forward!

Good meetings do these two things almost always…

  1. Connect people – relationships are built, and people come away understanding other people’s stories and perspectives more than before.
  2. Move forward purpose-driven action – decisions are made, ideas are discussed, and people come away with meaningful tasks that move the whole group toward their purpose.

Double-check the meetings you are a part of. 
Do your meetings connect people and move forward action items?


Or do you have meetings that are:

  • just a download of someone’s agenda or priorities.
  • all about those next steps and action without any opportunity to build teamwork & relationship.
  • meandering and unclear.

Think through these two questions when planning the next meeting:

Is there 10-15 minutes for human connection?

Is there space to discuss, make decisions, and clearly set up next steps?

Want more on how to support your teams and move them toward action and connection? Let’s talk!

Rheanna SmithWhy I love meetings and how you can too
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The most essential processes for making teamwork WORK!

April 27, 2021
The most essential processes for making teamwork WORK!

Sometimes we need an infusion of ideas and tools for the work we are already doing. 

I am going to get tactical right now and jump straight into it!

There are a few processes it is good to always use when you are working with a group.

Whether you are leading and supporting an Executive team in your business, organizing a school group to make changes in school policy to benefit all students, or co-facilitating a volunteer-led group for immigrant justice- these WILL make the work smoother (and more fun)!

Three essential processes ease the amount of work you are each doing, increase action, and even enjoyment, while you work together.

    A set of working agreements
    Have a set of agreements that guide your work together. 

    This can be as simple as two or three verbal agreements for how you want to act when you work together and how you will do your work. You can put these in writing and come back to them each year as a process of learning together and acknowledging what is working and what can be improved.

    An agreed-upon, known common purpose
    A clear outlined statement about why the group exists and the purpose of their work together. 

    I find most people in a group have different understandings of the purpose of the group and the larger mission or reason for the group’s existence. When the purpose is not clear, people will be less engaged, less collaborative, and more confused. 

    If you want a passionate group – create purpose together and come back to your purpose over and over.

    A clear decision-making process
    A process that outlines how major (and even minor) decisions are made and who is responsible for which decision. 

    Not everyone has to be a part of making every decision, but everyone should know who and how each decision is made. If you want to increase trust and create an inclusive team – discuss and document who makes what decisions and how. (Even better add clarity around how input can be given and what is done with input once it is given.)

These seem simple.

However, when the work is critical and there is much to be done – we can quickly lose sight of each of these processes. 

Check in real quick on a team project you are working on, and ask yourself:

  1. Do we have a set of agreements for how we want to work together? Do we all know what these agreements are?
  2. Do we know what the purpose of our team is? If asked, would we each of us give a different answer for why we exist as a team?
  3. Do we know how decisions are made and who makes what decisions? Have we discussed and documented who is responsible for each decision?

If you answered, yes – awesome you are set up to build a strong team. 

If you answered “sort of” – go back and find a way to answer and clarify as a group.
I promise you it will lead to more collaboration, more trust, and less stress!

Want more tips and tools for building a team you actually enjoy working with? Let’s talk!


Here is to all of us working together in collaborative, action-oriented teams!

Rheanna SmithThe most essential processes for making teamwork WORK!
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Make a big change in your career and life

February 17, 2021
Make a big change in your career and life

In the past few weeks, I offered up steps to take in preparation for a life transition and what you can do to create a shift without making the immediate big change.

Now I am sharing a process that sets you up to make a big life or career transition.

There are two ways to use these tools:

  1. Try out these steps when you know you are ready to implement a change in your life and you feel, “this is it! Now is the time!”
  2. Use any of these tools to move you closer to the change you want in your life or career sometime in the future. Hint – these processes work at ANY TIME to give you more clarity and alignment in your life!


If this moment in our history has awakened something inside you, igniting your creativity and a new direction, and you are ready for a change – use these tools to begin decisive action.

If this time of challenge has provided you or your family with clarity that what is currently occurring cannot continue in the same way – use these tools to walk toward a more sustainable future.

And if you are currently working hard to manage each moment in front of you, using your energy to tend to your well-being and your family’s well-being, and cannot possibly think of or talk about a change right now – you are not alone!

You can try only one of the first steps to gently lay the groundwork for the possibilities of what you want to come in a year or two. (Or come back to this process when you are ready.)

Here is the guide that includes these tools, plus the previous processes offered for building towards a transition in your life.

May you be well as you move toward change or stead yourself right where you are.

Rheanna SmithMake a big change in your career and life
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Shift your current situation while staying put.

February 10, 2021
Shift your current situation while staying put.

Something needs to change. You can feel it in your muscles or hear it from a quiet, determined voice inside. Perhaps it is a small change whispering to do it differently. Maybe you know something big needs to shift and are feeling antsy and excited.

But what if you cannot make the change right now? Or the way forward isn’t clear?

Focus on what is in front of you and in your control. You can always make subtle changes in your environment and in your own response.
Watch this video for actions you can take now to shift your current situation before you make a bigger change.


You do not have to leap all at once. Little shifts in your current environment can lead to new openings and perspectives. 

(Missed part one, check it out here – 4 steps to begin a transition.)

Need to see this all in writing? Download the accompanying guide!

Getting ready for a transition and not wanting to do it alone? 

In a leadership position striving for positive community change and in support of justice for black and brown people?

I am starting a special edition Clear Harbor cohort specifically focused on leaders who are contemplating a career or life transition. There are only 3 spots left!

Let’s talk!  Plus more info.

Rheanna SmithShift your current situation while staying put.
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